APH Iceland x Reader - I Died

I DIED

Pairing: Iceland x Reader
#Trigger Warning: strong language, potential OOC-ness, the author trying to be funny and capslocks.
A/N: It's been a long time, reader inserts. 38D

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Your head throbbed in pain, causing wave after wave of pain to wash you. As far as you remembered, there was no beer involved or actually any other alcoholic beverages at all yesterday. But why does your head feel as if it was being drilled by a drill?

You open your eyes slowly, letting your eyes adjust to the bright sunlight shining directly on your face as your headache slowly subsides. God, how you hated the sun.  And then there’s the bloody alarm clock, ringing casually as usual. But instead of the usual not-so-loud rings, every strike the alarm hits, the sound shrieks at you. It felt as if thousands of needles were piercing your ears. You rolled to your sides and clamped your head under your pillow. Fortunately it was quite thick and it blocked out most of the sound.

You made yourself comfortable and were about to fall into deep sleep again when someone snatched your pillow roughly and again, the hell-ish noise floods your ears once more.

“WHAT THE PLACE WHERE THE DEVIL LIVES ARE YOU DOING!” you yelled with your cursing quirk, clamping your poor, poor ears with your hands while glaring poisonous daggers at the male beside you. He returned your glare with a stern gaze. He was definitely sleepy you thought, looking at his droopy amethyst eyes and messy silver hair. It was quite an adorable scene actually.

“Turn the goddamn alarm off dang it. I am trying to sleep.” He hushed threateningly, motioning his hands weakly towards the alarm beside his side of the bed. You frowned, totally not amused.

“Well someone’s being grouchy.” You replied with a pout, sighing in relief when the alarm did stop. But you knew it would come back with revenge in another quick five minutes. Damn, why did you buy such a bothersome alarm clock! You regretted buying that expensive imposter clock and cursed silently under your breath.

“Guess who’s fault is it that we slept late yesterday.” He retorted sarcastically with a snort.

“What happened yester- oh god. Not yesterday again.” You mumbled as yesterday’s events started to flow again. You buried your head in embarrassment. The Icelander sleeping next to you smirk lightly, thinking how he could use this to his advantage (aka blackmail).

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-Flashback-

Nordic Household, 10 p.m

Emil Steilsson was sitting on the large couch, feeding his pet puffin, Mr. Puffin (a very, very creative name indeed) with a can full of tuna. It chomped happily on the many chunks of meat it was given by its master. Emil patted the queer bird gently as it swallowed the last fish. It seemed to bow to him (what the heck was wrong with his imagination, he mentally face palmed.) before flying away, probably to somewhere open and definitely out of the house.

Lukas Bondevik, Emil’s blood brother (who happens to not have the same surname as him for no reason), was sitting in the same couch though on the opposite side while reading a fashion magazine. He nonchalantly flips pages after pages before putting it in a pile of read magazines before taking another one. It was as if he had an endless supply of those girly catalogues. Bet you weren’t expecting that~

Sitting on another chair at the room was Berwald Oxenstierna, the Swede. He was reading a sappy, romantic novel silently while keeping an eye on his w’fe, Tino Väinämöinen who was washing the dishes after the glorious late dinner everyone had shared earlier. The two of them were interesting individuals with a fairly intriguing chemistry for each other. It was as if they repel yet attract each other at the same time.

Emil wiped his hands with a handkerchief before he popped a licorice into his mouth. Nothing better than a little dessert after a satisfying dinner. He then noticed that Lukas had scooted closer to him and Emil gave him a curious glance. Lukas snatched a licorice from Emil’s unsuspecting hands before he could even react.

“Really? Just for a piece of licorice Lukas?” Emil groaned as he rolled his eyes. Lukas merely nodded at his younger sibling’s (sarcastic) question. “You could have just asked you know. God, you’re just as bad as Mathi-“

“I heard my name being called!” said Dane crashed into the living room after kicking the door open to the big mansion they all lived in. And just when Emil had started to wonder where his troublesome alcoholic cousin went. Of course he had to make a grand entrance to this story.

“Hey everyone!” Mathias Kohler cheered, raising his canned beer up high. In his other hand was multiple bags of store bought beer. Damn, he must have been re-stocking that alcoholic liquid. Emil regretted staying home since he should have (reluctantly) gone with him to buy some more of his favorite snack, licorice.

“Lower your voice idiot.” Lukas growled, throwing glares at the Dane who either ignored it or just didn’t realize the killing intent radiating from the said Norwegian even though it was so obvious. Mathias simply brushed him off before plopping down on the couch, sitting comfortably in between Emil and Lukas.

“So Emil… Haven’t call Lukas ‘big brother’ yet?” Matthias wiggled his eyebrows suggestively while Emil face palmed. Not this childish conversation again.

Lukas’ sapphire eyes shined brighter than its usual dull-ish state as Mathias’ words sunk in and created a light bulb of plans. Let the world argument war start again for Emil.

“Call me bróðir.”

“Nei.”

“Call. Me. Bróðir.”

“No. Stop acting like a child Lukas, we’re all adults here.” Emil ate another licorice calmly, trying to hold his temper (read as: his tsundere-ness) at bay. Mathias laughed out loud, enjoying his two cousins’ arguments immensely.

“You know want to~” Lukas sang teasingly with a smirk. Emil growled in frustration, thinking of way so that he could escape this endless cycle of an argument. Just as he was about to retort back, a loud cry jostled everyone.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Then a loud thud.

“I NEED FRUKING TISSUEEEEEE!!!”


Everyone stared at the Icelander instantly. Emil stared back at them one by one, equally confused as the others. He didn’t know what the hell happened, much less involved in it. The 5 male stayed silent, listening to sobs coming from Lukas’ study at the second floor.

“Umm… Emil bro… Are you sure (Name) is alright up there?” Mathias questioned quietly, surprising everyone. It was rare that the Dane didn’t have his usual energetic outbursts. Lukas and Berwald nodded in agreement while Tino looked concerned for your well being. You were in Lukas’ study, playing your laptop there since that was where the internet was strongest while the others were still downstairs.

“Check up on her.” Lukas stoically suggested (though it sounded like an order to Emil.) with the others nodding in agreement. Though Lukas and Berwald didn’t have any trace of worry in their expressions, Emil knew that deep down they were uneasy with your sanity, not that they will ever admit it anyways.

“Fine.” Emil started his journey by walking to the stairs, hearing the comforting creaks of the steps in the stair under his white boots. Tino simply prayed for both your and Emil’s safety while the others went back to their usual routines with Lukas and Berwald reading and Mathias chugging down cans of beer without getting drunk.

Emil reluctantly walked past through rooms after rooms, getting closer to the study where you were at the end of the hallway. It was when he held the doorknob tightly; the sobbing came to an immediate stop. Emil tensed up and was already thinking of absconding instantly back to safety. But he pushed all the bad thoughts away and turned the brass knob slowly. He gulped in a dry lump on his throat as he pushed the door, letting light from the hallways flood inside the dark room. It was pitch black with an exception of light radiating from your laptop.

“Umm… (Name)?” Emil stuck his head in, taking baby steps inside. He looked around the room from the door, squinting his eyes so that he could see well. His eyes slowly but surely adjusted to the darkness and he widened back his eyes. The musky smell of the vintage books in the study overwhelmed him as it mixed with a weird floral smell that the pot of flower placed on the corner of the cold room with a vase.

Emil looked at your laptop from afar, seeing your browser set on your deviantart account’s notes. He ignored the writing in the message and started to look around again. He spotted your body frame almost a minute later and he almost literally slid across the carpeted floor to your curled body. You weren’t looking at him, opting to look at the curtains on the opposite side of the room. There were no more sounds coming from your mouth anymore, only streams of stubborn tears falling down from your eyes and pooling under your hands that were laid on the carpet.

“What the hell happened?” Emil asked, thinking whether he should touch you or not. He opted not to as it looks as if you wanted to be alone.

“E-em-emi-emil…” you croaked out sadly, not moving from the floor.

“Come on… Tell me what happened.”

“E-Elizabetha… happened.”

“Elizabetha as in Elizabetha Héderváry? The Hungarian who’s good friend with Tino?” you nodded promptly with a sniffle, trying to calm down.

“Since I thought you and L-lukas were adorable with the argument thing, I asked Elizabetha to write me a story.” Emil didn’t like where this was going.

“And then she just sent me the story.”

Oh hell no.

“I EXPECTED SOME CUTE BROTHERLY FLUFF. NOT THIS A-ANG-ANGSTY FLIPPING PIECE OF SHEET.” You hollered loudly, covering your face with your hands as a new batch of tears covered your face again. Emil stared at Elizabetha’s note to you before looking back at your emotionally unstable figure crying freely.

“SEX- no that’s a bad word… HAVE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE THIS POOP.” You continued with your cursing quirks again. Emil couldn’t resist to grimace as he started patting your back softly, trying his very best to calm you down from your (very creepy) emotional breakdown.

“Shush (Name)… It’s just a story… You don’t need to take it seriously. Geez, sometimes I just don’t get what you’re feeling.” Emil whispered the last part silently to himself.

“THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T GET IT. YOU DON’T HAVE FEELS. NOT LIKE HOW I AND THE READERS WHO ARE READING THIS HAVE.” You yelled at him. He looked at you weirdly.

“What do you mean readers who are reading this?” he asked.

“FORGET IT. YOU WON’T GET MY FEELS IF YOU ARE NOT A FANGIRL OK.” You rolled away from him while throwing used tissues drenched with your tears to his direction.

“Come on- Oh my god, stop. Stand –Stop it- up right –OW- now!” Emil raised his hand in defense, trying to deflect the many wet tissues thrown to his face. When he did finally managed to walk (crawl actually) to your place, you looked away rebelliously.

“NO. I LOVE THE FLOOR AND THE FLOOR LOVES ME TOO.”  You then proceed to give yourself a nice, nice face plant to the soft, carpeted floor. You and the floor were practically inseparable; well maybe not with Emil there in the equation but you get what I mean.

“You are now being unreasonable. Now come on, let’s get you to sleep.” Emil carefully lifted you up and dragged you to the bedroom you both shared. He was not sure if he could more stand any more of your unexplainably, incredibly stupid reasons. You thrashed around, wanting nothing else but destroy your laptop at the moment. You continued kicking Emil’s feet and punching his back until he finally snapped and threw you over his shoulders. Though you kept hitting his back, it was much better without you threatening him to fall down with your strong kicks. Sure, Emil doesn’t look that strong but he wasn’t that weak too as he easily carried you to the bedroom without breaking any sweat.

“SOMEDAY I’M GONNA MARRY THE FLOOR I TELL YOU!! AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME, EMIL!” you yelled once more before hanging your head in defeat as Emil rolled his eyes.

Gosh fan girls, he thought, thinking of how scary they were if everyone was like (Name), his own girlfriend that sometimes he couldn’t even handle. Yeah, really scary and catastrophic worthy.

In the end, Emil spent almost the entire night comforting you with sweet nothings whispered to your ear and he barely had any wink of sleep while you had an uneasy sleep with frequent whimpers escaping from your throat. He would rub your back gently, lulling you back to sleep each time when you would awake.

“Goodnight…”

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RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII----------------------------NNNNNNGGGGGG

“Turn it off……” Emil mumbled, his eyes drooping close tiredly.

“No, you do it. It’s closer to you.” You replied, tugging your end of the blanket and burying deep into it.

“No you do it. “

“Nope.”

“Yes you will. Now go.”

“I can’t hear you la~la~la~la”

“I’ll blackmail you.”

Typical Emil Steilsson and his damned bad habits to use something against you. Just like his brother’s attitude.

“What? Were you expecting something? Now go turn the damn alarm off.” He smirked while you frowned at him, “Before I start thinking ways to blackmail you. Maybe through the internet is pretty good.”

“Oh my god, Steilsson. Yes, I will do it instantly sir.” You swiftly jumped up from the bed to awesomely fall flat on the floor the next second since your feet tangled with the bundle of blankets. You probably would have bruises soon.

“Why floor…. I thought you were a bro…” you mumbled softly, before untangling yourself from the blankets to shut the alarm off.

“Geez, alarms and their attention seeking problems,” you scoffed, before a particular fluffy object on the floor gave you a brilliant idea for revenge. Oooohhh, Steilsson’s going to get it hard.

Emil slept peacefully as you turned off the ear shattering alarm clock. He could now sleep in peace.

Not.

Just as he was about to sleep, a hard material was slapped (or smacked?) against his head.

Why was the world always interrupting him?

“WHAT THE ACTUAL-” Emil flinched as his head started to throb. The pain slowly spreads and his vision starts to spin and blur his surroundsings. He reluctantly sat up and stared at his partner, you. You were holding a pillow with a grin. And not to mention, the floor was literally almost covered in lush, soft pillows.

“Wakey-wakey motherfruker.” You grinned widely at him as he tried to re-orient himself to process on what the heck was going on. It took him a few moments but he glared many, many poisonous daggers back at you when he did. If looks can kill, then you must have already been sent to hell a few times now. But sadly it can’t and you just smirked playfully at him.

“Oh it’s on, (surname). You’re gonna regret this.” He threatened fiercely, throwing the blanket up high in the air to buy him time. Emil threw his pillow at the blanket, making the blanket to fly to your direction. You swiftly stopped the double attack combo with your pillow shields and took your defensive stance. This is going to be fun.

You dodged an incoming blow from your enemy before throwing one of your pillows too to Emil’s direction. He caught it mid-air and brought it down to hit you with it. You safely blocked the sudden assault with your pillow. You jumped back as Emil did too. The tension was high as none of you moved. It was going to be a time battle; to see who would be faster in reloading the pillow ammos for your own arsenal.

Emil threw his last pillow and you strike it away; going straight into his trap. As you were going to reach down for more pillows, he threw two on his side to you. Emil pouted when you ducked from the pillow and threw one that was one your hands at him. He jumped and evaded the pillow as it crash landed to the wallpaper coated wall. He reached down for some more when you jumped over your area to him with a pillow to hit him with.

“Oh crap.” Emil mumbled as he rolled to the side, landing himself in a pile of pillows when you swung the place where he was crouching down a moment before. He sighed in relief as you groaned in frustration from missing him when he was most vulnerable.

“Dang this game is hard to win,” you thought as you resumed your defensive state once more.

You squealed in alarm when you almost got bonked by Emil’s pillow. You were lucky this time. You engaged a head to head combat with him; striking your pillow against his. Both pillows shook under the immense pressure it was put and you smirked to Emil, who had an exact mirror copy of that upward tilt on his lips.

“You’re going down (Name).”

“Oh look here. The self-proclaimed mature adult playing childish games. How surprising.” You sarcastically retorted and for a second Emil wavered, forcing him to retreat before he would lose balance and fall.

Just as you were about to have another battle, you heard a very loud yell from a person you were too familiar with.


“GUYS! IF YOU WANNA HAVE SEX THEN DO IT QUIETER!”


Oh yeah, Lukas just shouted that from his room across of yours and Emil’s… which resulted into a laughing spree from both you and Emil and Mathias (who obviously overheard everything from his own room).

“Ahaha… Spawn of the Devil in the morning has awaken huh?” you laughed while dropping the pillow and into the floor yourself, rolling in it like there was no tomorrow.

“Yeah…” Emil tried to keep his calm composure but failed majorly drastic as he started to have tears pooling in his eyes from holding all the laughter behind. He then burst into uncontrolled laughter too and started rolling on the floor with you by his side.

As your laughter subsides you tilted your heads towards Emil, who stared back at you. A warm red tint grew in your cheeks but you didn’t mind it; instead you smiled at the Icelander and it was then Emil’s turn to have a similar cherry red blush on his.

“Hey Emil…” you called while looking to the ceiling.

“Yeah?”

“Good morning.”

“Good morning to you too (Name).”

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~* Time skip courtesy by the lacking of Ice’s tsundere-ness in this story *~

Lukas calmly sipped his dose of morning coffee, feeling the warm caffeine heating his throat before he took another small sip. He turned another page of the day’s newspaper, reading the headline news slowly; letting the information sink slowly into his brain. Lukas had always been a quick reader, though he sometimes chooses to read slowly as to let each and every word to become engraved on his mind.

Meanwhile, the ever so cheerful Mathias took another swig of his beer in his personal mug after shoving a big spoonful of delicious breakfast served by chef Tino, the excellent cook of the family. Today it was bacon and egg, highly contrasting yesterday’s meal of bread, jam and cheese. It was nice having different food everyday to eat as it avoids everyone from getting bored.

Mathias nudged Berwald, who was eating his breakfast silently, with his elbows. The calm and composed Swede gave Mathias a warning gaze. “Hey, hey Ber~ Did you hear this morning… Emil got laid, man. Damn, he’s growing up so fast!” he whispered not-so-silently. His words became overheard as Tino giggled (yes he giggled everyone) in delight.

“Oh he did? Ah! I am so proud of him!” the Finnish clasped his hands together, his purple orbs twinkling brightly. Mathias gave two thumbs up in confirmation at him.

“What did you say?” came a voice behind Mathias, who almost jumped out of his chair surprise.

“Lukas… You scared the crap out of me. I mean… Lukas what did you asked me again?” Mathias replied confidently, not letting his spirits down.

“My brother had what?!” Lukas interrogated again with a dangerously dark aura growing behind him. Mathias and the rest grew grim with unwanted anticipation. This will not end well if Mathias replies.

“Umm…This morning y-you said that they had s-se--”

BAM!

HEADSHOT.

“God. Stop telling false accusations so early in the bloody morning.” You interrupted, throwing a pillow at Mathias’ head. Perfect hit~

“A-ah good morning (Name) and also Emil. How was your sleep?” Tino cheerfully asked, placing the ready-made dishes for you two on the dining table.

“Horrible.” You both answered at the same time. Tino blinked two times with curiosity before brushing the feeling away. Berwald acknowledged your presence with a brief nod and you smiled in return.

You and Emil were about to walk to your respective seats when Lukas appeared (well not appear, you just didn’t notice him walking to you) in front of you with that threatening aura still intact.

“Morning Lukas.” You greeted him with a wave while Emil simply stayed silent.

“You didn’t have any sexual intercourse didn’t you?” cue Berwald almost spitting out his coffee and Tino on the verge of dropping his frying pan that he had received from Elizabetha.

“Nope.” You calmly replied, “You simply misheard me and Emil having a little pillow bonding time. That’s all.” Walking past through him and then sitting down with Emil by your side.

“What the hell was that pillow for (Name)? God my head hurts now…” Mathias groaned as he sat back on his chair after being knocked down to the unforgiving floor. No one expected a blow from a pillow would land Mathias of the solid ceramic floor as he was that big and the pillow was well…small for his size.

“For spreading out ‘rumours’ that Emil and I had sex.” You sternly replied, giving him a passive look from where you sat across of him. Mathias gulped in a sharp intake of breath. If you weren’t cursing or replacing bad words with your quirk then yeah you’re pretty angry or pissed. And it will not end up good for anybody. Last time you were in the same mood, someone whose name must not be mentioned got into a hospital. And nobody wanted to go to a hospital this time around of the year.

“B-but Lukas was the one who said it…” he whined in protest, gesturing to the said Norwegian who is in a conversation with Emil. He seemed to be lecturing Emil something quite embarrassing since the silver haired Icelander had a quite tremendous blush on his pale face.

“Yeah, well you were the one who spread it to Berwald and Tino.”

“But—“

“Want another damn pillow up your ass this time Mathias?” you hissed at him, earning a whimper from the said Dane. You smiled in satisfaction at his cowering figure and start to dig in on your breakfast.


~*~*~* Time skip courtesy of Nor’s awkward sexual intercourse lecture *~*~*~

“Hey Lukas.”

“Hn?”

“For you.” You threw another pillow at Lukas’ direction this time. You watch wondrously as the pillow stopped in mid-air before falling down into his lap.

What the heck just happened there?

“A pillow? Why would I need a pillow?”

“God that troll is annoying…” you muttered under your breath. You had never believed it when Lukas did tell you that he had a troll friend or guardian or whatever but now you sure as heck do. Otherwise how would you explain Lukas stopping the pillow in mid air? Magic?

“For being a jerk to Em baby in Eliza’s fanfiction.” You mumbled absent mindedly, glaring daggers at the air around Lukas, “And for yelling the accusation this morning.”

“I apologize for the accusation but what about being a jerk to ‘Em baby’?” he asked, watching you intently and quoting your words. Emil turned red at both your stupid nickname for him. God it was so childish.

“Nothing that you should know off.” You replied in return, barely dodging the pillow that was thrown to you by Lukas. In the face.

“That does not make any sense at all (Name).”

“Many things in this world don’t make sense.” You shrugged. Emil snickered evilly as you totally pawned Lukas on this conversation.

“Please apply cold water to burnt area, Mr. Bondevik.” he slyly thought with a smirk. Emil watched as his brother’s mouth tilted downwards slightly. He was impressed that you could make Lukas lose his cool since it was so hard to make him even show his emotions in the public with the unsurprising exception from Mathias of course. The said Dane always manages to find a clink in Lukas’ armor of emotions and pulls him out of the emotionless mask. He always does.

“But good idea Lukas. So everyone up to a fun game of pillow fights?” you suggested, gesturing to the second floor; your room precisely. Everyone seemed to think about the offer for a second before agreeing with a shrug or with a ‘why not’; everyone except for Lukas who declined instantly.

“He is being such a killjoy,” you thought before ushering the rest to go up with you. Lukas silently watches his family disappear from the dining room in exception of you. With your arms crossed and a smirk plastered on your face, you called out,

“You’re just scared of pillows.”

Initiate running to your room like a murderer was on the loose.

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- Extraaaaa –

Elizabetha Héderváry sat in front of her laptop as she dried her brown locks with a towel after taking a relaxing soak in the bath tub. She noticed as someone had noted her in her deviantart account. She hoped that it was her good friend, (Name), giving her feedbacks or critiques on the fanfiction she had sent her over the notes yesterday.

And in fact it was her! Elizabetha eagerly pressed the notes button and waited for it to load. She cursed at the house she was sharing with Gilbert and Roderich as the internet pretty much sucked…unless Gilbert was hogging the net again to update his ‘awesome’ blog for the billionth time today. God, he was such a hipster.

As she thanked god when it did finally finish loading, the message she received was quite short.

‘As a thank you gift… Download it.

[link]

Thanks again for the fict, Liz.’

Elizabetha squealed in excitement. What had you sent her this time? Elizabetha quickly downloaded the file (after multiple cursings on the Prussian for making the download slow that is) and extracted the file. Elizabetha’s eyes grew bright when she saw the title of the folder. Oh yeah, it was another yaoi doujin that you must have got from some site. And it was one that she hadn’t read before!

Elizabetha scanned her surroundings carefully. It was nice, bright day with birds chirping outside and the sun’s rays shining into her room soothingly. Fortunately, Roderich was out for some things (grocery and some high tea for him) and Gilbert would be heading out for his German beer with his ‘Awesome Trio’ and ‘Bad Touch Trio’ aka a big reunion between him, Antonio, Francis, Alfred and Mathias. How lucky could she be on this holiday!

Grinning uncontrollably with snickers flowing from her mouth, Elizabetha clicked the icon and giggled at the 25 pages of pure fan girl material. She clicked the first page with much anticipation. Until her grin lopsided in a frown, a worrying frown in fact.

“OHHHHH SHIIIIIETTTT—“ she shrieked watching the screen slowly turn black. Then she realized her mistake. (Name) requested a fluffy fict and she gave her an angst one instead. Oh she must have been really pissed off as Elizabetha just noticed that you didn’t use any emoticons as usual or write long replies as you always do.

As minutes past and her laptop dies into a black abyss, only two words in bold appeared in the screen.

‘FUCK YOU.’

Panicking, she quickly unhooked the charger from the dead laptop and hurried out with the said electronic device, running to the electronic store where her friend, Eduard the tech geek worked in. He should be able to fix it if he could counteract your hacking skills.

As she ran through the crowd of people, distant yells coming from Elizabetha’s mouth was heard by many bystanders; confused on whose voice of distress was that.


“AWWW HELL NOOOOOO BABY NEEDS ME!! HANG ON BABE, MAMA’S GOING FOR YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!”